FIRST LOVE (Second of a Series)

“The call of love has grown stronger now,
Each word, each glimpse had deeper meaning somehow;
The hot summer morn becomes a welcome respite,
To souls wallowing in love’s warm retreat.”

I continued to be a good friend to E., despite the inner turmoil I had. However, there came a point when seeing them just talking and seemingly enjoying themselves, I would feel the pangs of inadequacy and unworthiness bite deeply into my young psyche. Wanting to let go of these negative emotions, I decided to keep my distance and just live in my own small world.

E. might have missed my company, so one day, he bluntly asked me if I had any problem. I need not say anything because the way I looked at him must have said it all. He understood and respected my feelings, and we went our separate ways. That summer ended with deep sadness, but hopes stood high for a cleansing rainy season.

The rains came with the opening of the schoolyear. The only glimpses I had of E. was when he would come home from school a little past 5 PM. I was not consciously waiting for him, but the accidental sight of him would be enough to complete my day. Ah…young love. I couldn’t wait for the next summer.

I was not privy to the goings on with E.’s life, or D.’s, or whether they had pursued what seemed to be a blooming bond between them. I just made sure I did well in school to compensate for the imagined inadequacies I had then.

The next summer came, and with it a renewed friendship. I decided I would be a good friend to E. without any expectations, knowing fully well it was D. he longed for. But just like the cirrus clouds which sped across the deep blue sky on a summer noon, a young boy’s feelings can be as fleeting. E. seemed to enjoy my company more than any other, and what used to be a partnership in rough games now turned into an understanding between two young hearts, eager to share hopes and dreams, and to unravel the soul behind each person.

(To be continued…..)